When Darkness Turns to Light, I want to be there

Recently. I'm guessing you all know, my country was the headlines of every newspaper in China and Hong Kong. Not only with in these two countries but probably a dozen more countries because of the hostage taking in Manila. Honestly I'm pissed, mad, and extremely disappointed to my very own Philippine National Police and SWAT team. I mean who can be proud?!?!?! WHO THE HELL WILL BE PROUD OF WHAT THEY'VE FREAKING DONE?!?!? IT'S JUST SO PLAIN SICKENING?!? and what happen next is much more disappointing.

I'm not mad to the Chinese people who are sending and keep posting negative feelings about my country's government and police - they have the right to do so - they've been brutally hurt, but please do not generalize. Pls do not define our nation with the action of only few people.

And to the Filipinos who are overreacting you're not really helping. Remember when a Filipino got a racial comment from people outside our country? We all get furious right? Imagine that and multiply it to 1000000000000000. Be understanding and let's work together to correct the things that had happened. MAGKAISA! Let us not forget. This is our country, our one and only.

My deepest condolence to the families of the victims, I'm really sorry for what had happened, sorry for the incompetence of my government and for the lack of security. I know my words wont really help and can't do anything about the pain in your hearts but please accept my humble apology. In behalf of my countrymen, I am really sorry..

I wont talk about more about the issues coz you can read about it further in much detail on the News sites around.

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Why did I post that? Because I'm deeply troubled. Since that day my heart is literally aching and shameful. Honestly, I dont want to go online and talk to my friends because I am really ashamed of what had happened (Still am).  But I need to face the world, hiding wont help. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm more concerned with the relationship of both countries than my grades at all. 

Everyday I check for e-mails and news about the progress of the case, everyday I keep seeing pages in Facebook and some social networking sites about Chinese and Filipinos arguing, debating, throwing criticism, and negative stuff to each other. It's just keep bulking in inside my chest that it becomes heavy.

I don't know if I'm making sense in this post but I just want to let go of my troubled heart. It's the feeling that I don't want to keep inside for too long. It's just awful.

Why are so concerned about the case? Well maybe because I'm a Filipino and Chinese. Both of my family is hurt. Both of my family is fighting each other. Take a look at this. Your mother side of the family is fighting with your father side of the family. What will you feel? And I just can't describe it with words. If I have to take a side, I will take none.

Why are you so angry? Because people are really loosing the basic concept. People starts to argue about the government (My government) and how should the police handle the situation but as the argument continues it becomes a racial fight. Like both parties are insulting each other and making conclusions without proper evidences. One side will said this, one side will defend it, and the other will throw a pointless argument. Some things are overexposed and sometimes mistranslated. Everything starts to be out of hand. (Well, actually, it's already been out of hand) That's what I'm mad about. >_<

I hope everything will be resolved soon and justice will prevail.

If anyone of you got offended by my post. I'm extremely sorry.